Young Writers Society

That is such a cool poem. It totally reflects the warrior princess thing. It is great. But one thing is that it goes down really long. So you might want to combine some of the lines maybe. It's cool how you put those one liners by themselves. They really stood out, like they seemed like they were supposed to be. The innocence part doesn't entirely make sense though. Because I get that it went away some how, but I don't really understand though.

I liked this. I liked how you were short and to the point, and didn't drag out the whole poem with unneeded words and information just to make it rhyme, like most people do. What I didn't get, was it says "To protect what I love". What is she protecting?

Thank you thank you thank you! Finally, a girl has stood up and said that women can and will be warriors too! I'm tired of all guys thinking that they are superior because they think they can fight! (some can, but girls are SO better). Like Kelsi said, this was impowering. NICE JOB!!

Hey!!
I really enjoyed your poem. I thought as a girl, it was very impowering, if that makes any sence, espiaclly with the line "And I will be no man's prize". I thought it rocked!!

Keep up the great work!!!!

Kelsi =)

Thx 4 reading my poem ppl.
Wolf said it's too cliched. That may be so, but sometimes cliches truly are the best way of saying things. BTW, Wolf, I find it hard 2 believe that you are only 12. You sound more like you're 18.
Glad you liked it, Zalex! And I totally agree with everything you said about girls.

I disagree with Camille. I loved this poem! It reminds me of Mulan. I love the concept that it projects. To me, being a warrior princess means being a girl and not letting men do all of the tough stuff. Girls can do anything boys can and no one should ever deny it. Boys might have a bigger build, therefore stronger but mentally and usually physically we can do the same things and better than them.

Zalex

Warrior Princess --

This is okay, as far as the quality of the poem goes. There is some pretty - if not clichéd - imagery, and he flow is generally pretty good.

I think the biggest problem you have here is the cliché-ness of the poem. I've read/seen/heard so many things about warrior princesse now, it's getting kinda old...
I have a female warrior in my novel, but she is not the only one. This idea of a teenaged girl being the single feminine warrior in a bunch of guys is quite overused.

Furthermore, I think you could cut back on the 'I pity those I kill' thing. It, too, is overused, and... it doesn't make for an interesting poem. Maybe you could write about the way time and experience have hardened her towards the horrors of war - maybe she doesn't care for her victims? I don't know.

Work with this. It has some potential. ^_~

- Camille